Hi friends!
An unplanned, off-schedule post gracing your inboxes this Sunday evening because, well, I wanted to say hi. And talk about Mental Health Awareness Month.
More on that in a sec…
In the last few weeks, I’ve started to wonder if my voice in this space is really necessary, or if I’m still as glad to be here as I once was when I started The Yay Club back in November. If we were to be sitting around a table with a glass of wine, and randomly started discussing love languages (I mean, really not sure why that would come up unless one of us was having some relationship issues, but regardless…. go with me), I’d be a “words of affirmation” person. I mean, I’ve been that way my entire life. Call it the Virgo, Type A, millennial stereotype that I am, but hey! I just want someone to tell me I’m doing a good job, or — alternatively — that you need my help. And this has instead been a lot like yelling into a black hole and assuming because emails are still being opened, that most people are enjoying/appreciating what I’m saying. But, I hate assuming.
To be fair, as of late, I haven’t put much time or attention into trying to grow this newsletter/space, or encourage engagement. I think I get a little hung up on the fact that this is a *newsletter* — not a blog, which comes more natural to me. (My writing style and personality just lends a bit better to the “let me tell you about my entire life even though you didn’t ask” bent of lifestyle blogging, you know?) Long story short, I’ve gotten some stage fright over what to do with The Yay Club, and some imposter’s syndrome. Unsure what you (the sweet people are who somehow still reading my rambles) want to read about in a forum like this, that feels strangely personal because it’s literally dropping into your mailbox.
And so, I skipped Friday’s usual post. I thought maybe it didn’t really matter, I guess? I know no one is living and dying by my weekly posts, but aforementioned Type A Virgo over didn’t love skipping out on something I was supposed to do, and had committed to doing. Alas…
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All that being said, I’m here now because I really wanted to talk to you about mental health.
As I was thinking about this post, I had a random flashback to the “this is your brain on drugs” PSAs that used to pop up on Saturday morning television programming in the early ‘90s. Does anyone else remember this? It was usually some celebrity frying an egg in a pan against a black backdrop, if I’m remembering correctly. That was obviously part of an anti-drugs campaign, but it feels appropriate for mental health too, in my opinion. Like really, that egg could also be your brain on anxiety, or a medley of other mental health concerns.
The reason I wanted to chat about Mental Health Awareness Month is because I think mental health is still (somehow) a subject we feel reluctant to talk about, or to get honest about. As if there’s something about struggling with your mental health that makes you broken or weak or less than, and as if you’re the only one. The thing is, mental health is a significant component of your overall health, as important, in my opinion, as your physical health. And, it impacts everyone.
Most people just won’t (or can’t) tell you about it.
I think social media is part of problem, perpetuating our inability to admit that life is a heck of a lot harder than it often looks. The people you see posting on Instagram and Tik-Tok who seem like they’re just having the times of their lives all the time, or living day after day of this easy, breezy existence — it’s fake. It’s a curated highlight reel.And I think most of us know this logically, but it can still be tough to remember in our hearts. It can be difficult to believe that those people posting about their beautiful trips and beach runs and picture-perfect dinner parties are also struggling with something. But, that doesn't mean they aren’t! It doesn’t mean they are not dealing with something you can’t see. Anxiety and depression are a LOT more common than you may think (especially in this mid/post-pandemic world), and if you ask me, the best thing we can do is continue to normalize sharing our struggles, and getting help. Aka just having a conversation.
I’ll start!
I’ve had anxiety on and off for several years, since a past job frayed my nerves to a point where I started to have anxiety attacks (I ended up leaving said job, despite truly loving my coworkers and employer). Nowadays, my anxiety is mainly triggered by scary health situations, and I’m just coming off a period where my anxiety was at a peak I hadn’t experience in years (thanks to dealing with some not so great health stuff combined with losing my mom, plus Covid… fun!). And I started since a therapist about nine months ago, because I knew after my mom passed that I needed some help dealing with the trauma of that loss. I talk to my therapist less frequently than I did back in the fall, but nevertheless, I haven’t severed that relationship because it helps take the edge off the feelings of grief and overall pandemic stress I still experience.
Why am I telling you all this? Because I want you to know it’s OK to talk about your mental health, and it’s OK to need some help.
….and after the year (years, at this point) we’ve all had, I think we all could use some extra help getting through.
It’s not only okay to prioritize your mental health, but it’s a very brave and important thing to do. That includes reaching out to a therapist/psychologist/support group. Hell, it’s okay if you end up needing some medication to cope. There is no shame in any of it, and it’s okay to admit you’re not okay. You don’t have to pretend everything is fine, and you also don’t have to feel guilty for not being happier or more capable or stronger, or whatever else society tells us. It’s okay to need help beyond ranting to your best friend or confiding in your partner, or exercising (moving your body can help strengthen your mental health, but they are not a substitute for therapy, IMO).
📢 Repeat after me: reaching out for help is a sign of strength.
Here are some links + resources that might be helpful (and just the tip of the iceberg of what’s out there!):
Talkspace (connect with a therapist virtually)
This episode of The Armchair Expert podcast [featuring Prince Harry]
On Instagram, this post / this account
This article [about pandemic-induced anxiety and traveling]
This book by Olympic runner Alexi Pappas (I’m halfway through it!)
That’s it from me for today. Leave me a comment letting me know how you’re doing, and please share this post/newsletter with a friend who might find it helpful. 💛 Thanks for reading!
Sending you all the YAYs,
Joelle
Thanks for keeping up this space, I am all about the Yay Club! It is helpful to read that others have struggled with anxiety this year (I really have to stop saying “this year” because this sure has lasted longer than a year). I absolutely agree that reaching out is a sign of strength! This year + has really showed me how powerful it can be to just keep checking in with friends or groups of people who are supportive. Whether in a formal or informal way, I feel like being intentional about this has worked wonders for my mental health. Thanks for writing.
Really enjoyed the post. Anxiety is a silent killer, glad you’re prioritizing it. “How to stop worrying and start living” is always my go-to audio listen when my anxiety crops up.
- Steve