Friday Things // 12.16.2022

The one right to the point after a week of startling loss.

Dec 16, 2022

Hi friends. I’m going to keep it short and simple today.

This week has been a resounding reminder of a few things:

Life is both incredibly precious and incredibly short, and you don’t always know what someone is going through. You just don’t.

The shocking loss of tWitch — who I didn’t know personally but hearing the news instantly made me think of my mom, because she adored him on The Ellen Show and would have been so crushed if she was alive to hear that he’d passed — has been on my mind. So has the perhaps equally as unexpected and sudden death of a journalist (Grant Wahl) covering the World Cup in Qatar, earlier this week. For the latter, he literally had an aneurysm — no warning, no time to say goodbye or overthink what your last conversation with your spouse was or wish you’d done this or that. Just… gone, in the blink of an eye. I can only imagine the incredible pain his family is experiencing right now.

So, what can we do? How do we shape these one wild and precious lives of ours, knowing that absolutely nothing is guaranteed?

You might think I’d have a good answer for this after losing my mom in the fashion and speed that I did, but I don’t really. In my own life, I still often find myself getting frustrated with the little things, or forgetting to reply to texts from people I love, or leaning into my introverted side when I actually should be reaching out to see people I care about. I think that’s normal, though — that’s part of being a human being; sometimes we get wrapped up in the trees and forget to see the forest. Sometimes we forget to stay present, or to focus on the things that really, really matter (away from our phones and social media and the comparisons). Yes, even after we’ve been gutted by an unexpected loss of our own.

But maybe this is a good moment to take stock of our choices. Of our habits. To think about how often is too often to say no to things. (Although yes, boundaries are good and saying no is an important complete sentence if you need it to be.) To check in with friends beyond liking their social media posts or sending them a meme of some celebrity doing something stupid. I mean, that stuff is important too, sure, but sometimes — probably more often than most of us do now — you also need to call those people. See them in person and give them a hug. Text them and ask how they’re really doing. Gently push past the “fine” and “busy” answers. And if they’re struggling, let it be known that you’re there, and that you want to help; hold space for them and maybe remind them they don’t have to go at it alone. If that’s you — if you’re the one struggling — this message applies to you as well.

So…….. tell people you love them. Show people you care. Be kind anyways, always.Let things go. Celebrate the people in your life and be loud about it. Be unabashed about it. Don’t wait.

So Many Somethings

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