Friday Things // 07.01.22

The one after the calendar rolled back 50 years.

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A couple of days ago, I was recording a voice memo to a friend and found myself saying, “Everything is a disaster right now.”

As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I regretted it. I hate to be the cup-half-empty person, and I really hate to pour my gloominess onto anyone else. But let’s be real here — this last week hasn’t been the *most* uplifting or encouraging. At least not if you’re a person with a uterus and/or who cares about having basic human rights. (Hi, that’s me!)

But, I was being honest, talking to my friend, and I’ll be honest talking to you: things feel heavy right now. Or maybe it’s heavier? And I feel angry, and exhausted, and just… sick of this sh*t. (Yes I still censor curse words when I write, as if my mom’s reading. 🙃) I literally found myself singing the “Everything is Awesome” song to myself yesterday, only I’d inadvertently swapped “awful” in for “awesome.” So… yay! And maybe that’s not the inspiring thing you were hoping to read from me (or anyone) today, but that’s the truth. No one is above feeling like junk right now, when it genuinely feels like every time we get our footing and brush ourselves off, another shoe drops — some other annoying, unprecedented or unexpected thing that throws our day-to-day off the grid and down the toilet.

Now, all that said, I really am not a cup-half-empty kind of gal, so hear me out:

It is okay to be angry. It’s okay to be frustrated and generally over having to climb what feels like a never-ending mountain range of challenges. It’s okay to need to cry or scream or both. It’s okay if this feels like just too damn much. (I definitely feel that way.)

It’s not okay, though, to give up.

I mean, personally, I’d love to just throw my hands in the air and say, “FINE, you win!” to the universe and then hand over the baton to someone else. Let someone else take my share of the worrying or the trying or the hoping. However, we still have some choices left — regardless of where you live — and one of them is to stay in this fight. That, friends, is an important choice, and a decision I hope you make — to fight like hell, and make your voice heard… even if yes, it’s awful and ridiculous that we even have to do this (again). It matters, and you matter, and for what it’s worth, I really do believe that we change things for the better… even on the darkest days.

And absolutely, we deserve better.

So if you’re wondering what there is to even do about ~*all this*~ that we’re paddling through, it’s a lot of contacting your representatives again (i.e., your U.S. Congressmen and your two U.S. Senators) — phone is best, like I said in my post after the Texas shooting, but social media and email are good too — and telling them what side of the issues you stand on. [@Emilyinyourphone on Instagram is an amazing resource for info and scripts!] It’s attending rallies in your area. It’s mustering up the energy to volunteer for local reproductive rights organizations and candidates running for local (state-level!) and national offices for your state. It’s having the tough, possibly awkward conversations with friends, family, and whoever else. I know it’s not easy — none of it — and I know it may feel messy or awkward, and maybe it doesn’t feel like any of those things are enough to combat a powerful entity like, say, the U.S. Supreme Court, but it counts. It helps. Little actions go a long way, especially when we do them together.

On a related note, I was thinking about an article I read last year or so about tiny anchors. I posted about it here briefly last winter, but it feels like a good time to revisit the concept. Essentially, tiny anchors are the small, daily habits and elements of your routine that you return to for a sense of grounding and comfort. (We need all the grounding and comfort we can get these days.) For me, that looks like reading the Sunday newspaper (print for life, baby!)… having a cup of coffee each day (sometimes with extra foamy milk)… going for a walk by the water… sweating first thing in the morning… spotting hummingbirds flying nearby, something that always makes me think of my mom.

Now more than ever, we need to take care of ourselves — mind, body, soul — and I love the concept of tiny anchors in our days as one of those ways. These are small things, but they matter a whole lot in the rituals of our lives, not dissimilar to how our voices, even though small on their own, collectively can have an incredible impact.

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I hope you all have a wonderful holiday weekend. I’ve had a lot of friends tell me they don’t feel particularly like celebrating this year, and I get that, but at the very least, I hope you use this time to recharge and enjoy some sunshine. If you need a laugh, the first two episodes of season two of “Only Murders in the Building” are up on Hulu. (And if you haven’t watched that show before, I highly recommend — it’s such a treat.)

Hang in there friends — we will get through this. Let me know in the comments how you’re doing, and what your tiny anchors are these days.

Thanks for reading,

Joelle