Friday Things // 04.08.2022
The one too hot to trot.
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We are in the midst of a heat wave over here in Southern California. Just about everyone I know in this area is melting, and fretting over the unexpected 90’ temps. I know that’s annoying to hear if you live in, say, New Jersey, and it’s currently chilly or raining, but gosh! We don’t have air conditioning (most homes in my part of Los Angeles don’t because the ocean breeze is apparently supposed to cool us off… despite living a few miles from a good wave), and so I don’t want to be inside, but I also don’t want to be outside. Really the only good spot the last two days has been inside my car with the AC blasting.
I know heat and sun and high temps are like the whole reputation for this part of the country from the perspective of just about everyone else, but I’m here to tell you 90’+ in early April is not the norm for us. It’s been unexpected, and almostttt unbearable, but we’ve made it through. And I’m sharing this not because I’m suddenly fascinated by weather or to make this into a climate newsletter, but rather because sitting on the cement steps of my patio tonight, I realized that unexpected extreme heat waves are a lot like the hurdles and tough times in our lives.
Sometimes they catch us off guard, sometimes they’re anticipated, but either way, they can knock us down, and really it’s only thanks to the likes of sheer will and resilience that we don’t get totally ripped to shreds in some cases. They can also make it feel too exhausting to pick ourselves up and do anything that exerts literally any energy whatsoever. Grief is like that, and a lot of other challenges in life are certainly like that. And you know, sometimes inaction is the answer — sitting still and being silent or just pressing pause on the routine activities or habits of your life until your internal temperature floats back to something resembling normal. Until everything doesn’t feel like too much. I think there is plenty of self care to be had in ignoring phone calls and laying on the floor.
That said, there does eventually come a point when action is what we really need. To just grit our teeth and run up that damn hill, even if we feel like we’re using up the very last ounce of gas in our tank, even if it hurts or feels impossible. Sometimes that’s how we get stronger, mentally or physically, and prove to ourselves that we are worthy, or that we’re ready, or how we get the things we need to turn the page. (Things as simple maybe as reaching out for a reassuring word from a loved one, or grabbing dinner with your favorite people, which can still maybe feel unsurmountable or out of reach at times.)
I came across this New York Times article last week, and it explains this concept really well I think — the action approach to moving past languishing and all those other fun activities and feelings we’ve picked up during the pandemic times. Sometimes we just have to know when we’ve hit the limit for what we can do for ourselves and our own healing, and when reaching out to someone else or just getting some fresh air could be the best medicine there is; that former is also a lesson I have taken from grief and time with a therapist for sure, but I know firsthand that it’s sometimes hard to put into practice when you’re really in the depths…. even if you know you’ll feel better after you have that call or meet your friend for coffee or whatever.
The tough times, much like unexpected heat waves, do eventually end, but I guess what I’m saying here is that sometimes we need to get extra uncomfortable in order to make it through for the better. Life is short, you know? Make the most of it, whatever that looks like for you. And maybe it takes an extra 24 swipes of deodorant (just me?) but you’ll get to the other side, where the goodness is waiting.
Have a great weekend everyone, and let me down how you’re doing. 💛 And if you liked this post or enjoy The Yay Club, I hope you’ll like this post and maybe share it with a friend who needs to read it, or on social. I appreciate it.
Thanks for reading,