Friday Things // 02.26.2021

The one wearing the positive pants.

Hi friends! 

Coming to you a little bit later than usual today. Some Fridays (and weeks) just get away from me, and I had grand intentions of writing this early this morning. 

Anyways, here we are! 

Last night, I was randomly thinking about last Friday’s post, and how I shared that I’d been experiencing some mega anxiety earlier that week. I was a little — you guessed it — anxious after sending out that one, because that sort of thing isn’t always easy to share, especially with random people across the internet. I think it’s important to be honest about mental health, though, and continue to work on removing the stigma attached. So, hey! Let’s talk about it some more, huh? 😅

Now, my brain is a complicated rabbit hole of thoughts and memories and nostalgia, so thinking about anxiety reminded me of these two wooden knick-knacks/signs/decoration things that I have, that my mom had bought me a few years ago — shortly after I’d experienced anxiety for the first time. 

The anxiety attacks had started sort of out of the blue. I’d never been an anxious person, and at first, I thought I was having a heart attack or some weird allergy, or going crazy. Long story short, it was anxiety brought on by a very stressful work situation in the middle of planning a wedding. (If you’re curious, I’ve written about this — and anxiety in general — in more depth, for Medium.)

Around the time that I finally left that job (which, by the way, I actually loved, despite the incredible stress, and was sad to have to leave), my mom bought me the aforementioned decorations (which are about the size of a paperweight) as not so subtle cues to stay positive. Both didn’t mince words and came with little stands to stay upright. One reads, “Put on your positive pants,” and the other, “Look on the bright side of life.” 

I kept one at home by the front door (pictured above), and the other — which is aptly shaped like a light bulb — on my desk at work, after I started with a new company. Now, it sits on my desk at home, because I haven’t worked in an office in nearly a year (duh). Nevertheless, years later, they’re both still solid reminders, and I can almost feel the genuine care that accompanied them when my mom picked them out. 

My intense anxiety was extremely situational, and as such, it mostly extinguished after I left the work situation that had originally brought it on. But, as I quickly learned, anxiety is hard to kick out of your life 100% for good; for me, it still comes back out to play due to certain triggers, mainly health related. (Especially fun during a pandemic, but honestly, who isn’t at least a little bit anxious in the middle of this?)

My mom was big on optimism and believing in the good in life, and I like to think she passed those down to me, occasional anxiety aside. Even when she ended up in the hospital over the summer, I distinctly remember her telling me I needed to change the channel in my brain to focus more on the good, rather than sinking into the bad things that were happening. That we had to believe — even if it was incredibly difficult — that things would be okay. That she would be okay. 

By now, you likely know how that story ended (just seven months ago today, actually), but I still think her advice was important. It’s a lesson in living, no matter what. 

Every day, we are lucky to see another sunrise. Lucky to have more breaths to take in. And if you ask me, we are not naive to hope for the best, or to look for the goodness in our lives even when we’re being hit daily with waves trying to knock us down and shake our sense of what’s possible. I have written about this so many times it feels like, but it’s because I think it’s really, truly important. There are so many people/things/situations in the world that will constantly tell you you’re not good enough, or that something’s not worth trying for, or that what you believe in is silly or unimportant, and it can be easy to eventually think they must be right. Or to want to give up, or give in, or get embarrassed at having hope in something more. In something you can’t see yet, but believe. Often the greatest things in life are the ones that we have dared to hope for, and to believe in, so why stop now? If it makes you feel like you have purpose, or like your tomorrows are full of opportunity, who’s to say what’s too bold of a belief?

So, every day, we can choose to put on those positive pants, corny as it sounds. I mean, why not? We can tell ourselves that no matter what the universe has planned, no matter what that monster under our bed may try to scare us with, that we still have a choice in what our mindset is, and where our focus goes. ⚡️

I worry that I’m sounding like a broken record, soooo… I’ll end it here. I’d love to hear what little reminders you use to stay hopeful and positive, even when the going gets tough (“subtle” like the signs my mom gave me, or mantras you repeat to yourself — whatever!). As always, thanks for reading — I so appreciate you.

Sending you all the YAYs,

Joelle