Last month, I had just finished up the final season one of my very favorite shows when I discovered that the old ABC Family series “Greek” was available to stream. Did you ever watch that show? It was on TV during my last year or two of college, and while it’s not particularly amazing (if we’re comparing it to, say, Emmy Award-winning productions), my roommates and I loved it at the time — it was about college and Greek life and we were literally in college, in sororities, while watching it — and I probably haven’t thought about it for one second since 2009. Anyways, since finding it on Hulu, I’ve found myself obsessed with re-watching.
We’re going on 3+ weeks now. I’m into season 3, which I don’t even think I knew existed when I originally watched the show, and I can’t get enough.
I’ve been trying to figure out why exactly I’m suddenly so invested in this random TV show — why I have to watch at least one episode before bed on weekdays now or else I feel incomplete — and I realized it’s because it feels sort of like a spoonful of nostalgia. If I believed in guilty pleasures, I’d say that’s exactly what this is, because while sure the plot is not necessarily the most compelling, it’s funny and it’s light-hearted, and it reminds me of a snapshot of my life where things were still simple and relatively made sense (and when I still had no idea a pandemic was coming in 13 or so years). Ah, felt good to be innocent and blissfully unaware, you know?
When I started this little newsletter last fall, back when I dedicated to a weekly send, we were in a position here in the U.S. where the pandemic had really started to wear us down, and there was so much else going on in the country (like with the presidential election) that it was hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It seemed to me like we were each in these tiny little rowboats, out in the middle of the ocean, down an oar and trying desperately to not forget shore was nearby. And so, I felt like we all needed some community, some extra cheering up and remembering that things can get better (that they DO get better). I’m not sure if it helped anyone reading, but it definitely helped me, having this space… and eventually I stopped writing weekly because things DID feel better in the world — brighter! Hopeful! More normal again. Vaccines started going into arms, society began to re-open. We all breathed out a giant sigh of relief.
But now, here we are, nearly 1.5 years in at this point, and most of us are back in those creaky little boats, except now we’re too tired to use even the one oar we have, and unsure if shore really exists anymore, or if we just imagined it. And maybe there’s a hole or two in the bottom that’s letting water in? We are exhausted, and maybe a bit heartbroken. (This article sums it up!)
Now, I know there’s a lot of people out there, maybe even in your own life, who have politicized the pandemic and masks, and downplayed the severity of this health crisis, and who maybe never even changed their lifestyles in the least, beyond what they were forced to do. People who are not anxious now, and weren’t anxious a year ago. TBH, I’m not talking to those people — not here right now. I’m here for the ones who thought we were in this together, the ones who believed we could band together for the greater good. The ones watching their hope float away like a kid’s balloon at the park.
If that sounds familiar… then this pep talk is for y-o-u.
I know it may feel very difficult right now to not be an anxious mess, or perhaps to maintain your faith in humanity. I know you probably feel angry and let down and possibly straight up devastated. Probably more than a little burnt out too. Maybe you’re back to trying to do all the mental gymnastics of assessing risk and figuring out what’s “right” or safest to do for yourself and your family, trying to weigh whether or not you can still take that cross-country trip or attend that friend’s wedding. I wish on a regular basis these days that I could somehow reprogram my brain to be breezier and less concerned, and to be more open to risk right now, because GOSH, I was really excited to feel like I was getting back to my former, super social life, before we started hearing all this delta variant news.
I’m 100% not here to tell you what to do or not do (although if you’re on the fence about getting vaccinated, please go get one asap, and feel free to email me if you want to talk through your concerns). I am, however, here to tell you to keep your head up.
We have made it through 100% of our toughest, bleakest days so far, and deep down I know that we will make it through this. I believe that enough people will end up deciding to get vaccinated (yay!), and we will not have to do this pandemic life thing forever. Not have to live in fear and in, you know, unprecedented times 🙄, forever. The tide can and will turn, I am confident! We just can’t give up — not on each other, and not on ourselves. This is not the time to let the anxiety or the (easy to come by) negative thoughts win, as hard as it may be.
My birthday is coming up, and some days I feel like my life is passing me by, and that my last trip around the sun feels like it was mostly wasted — a crumpled up, blank piece of paper tossed in the trash before even being given a chance. But I have to believe there is still joy to be found. Still ways to make the most of our lives, of our days, even here in the waiting. (Psst, I think Morgan Harper Nichols has some quotes that speak to this — love her writing.💛) Anyways, all I’m saying is you are not alone, and we will get through this. We will paddle forward, we will make it to the sand again and put down the anchor once and for all, and hopefully that’ll all happen sooner rather than later. (Yes, really not letting this boat metaphor go.)
There is still more fight left in us, and plenty more hope to be had! We got this. I know it.
I hope you have yourself a happy Monday, friends. If all else fails, find yourself a sunny spot outside today, and soak it in. It’ll improve your mood — promise.
Thanks for reading,
Joelle
p.s if you enjoyed this post, consider sharing it with a friend or ‘Like’ it by hitting the heart button at the top. xo
I’m in the boat! I could not have read this at a better time. Did you read my mind? Thanks as always for the writing. You are a gem.